I've been here for 18 months and finally got the Bethel Crud. Think flu but severe stomach cramps. Ridding fluid from both ends and not keeping anything down. I don't have a fever but the chills are rough. Cramps are like both sides of my stomach contracting simultaneously.
In the ER getting an IV now and my bad veins made it a little rough on the nurse since I'm dehydrated too.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Monday, November 26, 2012
I fell victim, again & requests from the people
I have been doing so well walking on the ice covered driveways, streets and walkways (even in Danskos- on accident of course) that i didn't expect to slip while trying to get into my car this morning. BUT- all my years of being a Kamikaze for various sports (during volleyball i spent more time on the floor than upright some days) that I'm apparently REALLY good at falling.
Last time I gently slid onto my back. Today, I somehow corkscrewed my body and ended up just sitting on the ground. Let me tell you- that takes skills. And apparently YEARS of throwing myself to the ground so falling is an instinctual artform. HA- falling is an artform. I need a hobby.
On a side-note... it was actually requested that I head up another Fitness Challenge at work. We are all on a PTO blackout until sometime in March so it's a captive audience. It won't be quite as long. Not sure if I want to do the same format. We'll see how this works out.
Last time I gently slid onto my back. Today, I somehow corkscrewed my body and ended up just sitting on the ground. Let me tell you- that takes skills. And apparently YEARS of throwing myself to the ground so falling is an instinctual artform. HA- falling is an artform. I need a hobby.
On a side-note... it was actually requested that I head up another Fitness Challenge at work. We are all on a PTO blackout until sometime in March so it's a captive audience. It won't be quite as long. Not sure if I want to do the same format. We'll see how this works out.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
A look back
I don't know that I can call this a regret, but I wish that when I came to Alaska I'd gone somewhere closer/with more access to some of the more published or stereotypical Alaskan views. The expense here is so great that its really cost prohibitive to travel and view more of the Alaskan landscape on my salary and while I'm trying to pay off my student loans.
When I leave here I won't want to move to another part of Alaska more than likely because I want to be closer to the rest of the country but at the same time I do wish I'd spent time in Denali or exploring Juneau or Fairbanks or Kodiak, anywhere really. I'm jealous of people I know who are based out of Anchorage and have gone and spent weekends hiking, climbing, etc. but I have also learned so much being here I can't find it to regret this move. If I had to do it all over again I might have selected a different place to live.
It's too bad current cost of living information is so hard to find.
When I leave here I won't want to move to another part of Alaska more than likely because I want to be closer to the rest of the country but at the same time I do wish I'd spent time in Denali or exploring Juneau or Fairbanks or Kodiak, anywhere really. I'm jealous of people I know who are based out of Anchorage and have gone and spent weekends hiking, climbing, etc. but I have also learned so much being here I can't find it to regret this move. If I had to do it all over again I might have selected a different place to live.
It's too bad current cost of living information is so hard to find.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Weather?
Internet is ridiculously sluggish and even completely unresponsive at times. Good news is I'm tired enough I'll be passing out soon. Bad news is its incredibly annoying.
Drunk in gummies
I can tell you they almost all smell like their respective liquors but I'm not tasting them all tonight.
The selection includes... Gin, vodka, midori, rum, Jim bean, tequila and crown royal. Yay gummies. I'll narrow it down for future big batches.
The selection includes... Gin, vodka, midori, rum, Jim bean, tequila and crown royal. Yay gummies. I'll narrow it down for future big batches.
Negatives
The temperature will be hitting negatives tonight. Including windchill it's been about -20. I laugh when I see people in snow pants if its in the 30s. Hehe
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Ups and downs
A patient got to talking to me about my kuspak. Then we started talking about how one of the reasons I really enjoyed the process of learning how to make and then creating the kuspak was because not only was I walking away with the kuspak but I was learning it in a traditional way. I didn't learn from a class, the Internet or reading. I learned it from someone that had gone before me, an elder. I enjoy being brought into the culture and being thought enough of to be taught in that way.
Before that moment I hadn't spoken those thoughts out loud. I knew it meant more to me but I hadn't spent the time to label the feeling.
The conversation somehow morphed into that patient asking for my palm and sharing with me what they saw for my future. It was completely unexpected. Now- I'm not going to share what was said because I was actually asked not to. I will say this though. I have been feeling a bit suffocated lately and this is why...
I have learned a lot being here. About Alaska, the native culture(s), and myself- personally and professionally. But at the same time, I have been frustrated with red tape at work and finances. Yes, I'm making ore here but the cost of living is significantly higher than most other places. It's more expensive here than Boston and Chicago were and with some Hawaiian patients I have found that its more expensive here than in Hawaii. The cost of getting goods here is pretty outrageous. Gas and groceries... Wow. So saving is hard. The money from IHS (Indian Health Services) and LRP (Loan Repayment Program) has been huge but in the mean time, I haven't been able to pay as much off on student loans that I wanted. I have a ear left on my car too which is a pretty big chunk of money every month. I'm also have been working on lining up a roommate so we can get a 2- bedroom which will be cheaper. I have a year+ left here (to fulfill my LRP contract, breaking it would be a HUGE burden) and the walls just feel to be closing in on me at times
... So with the walls tight and frustrations high this conversation with my patient was a step back. When they asked for my palm I mentioned that this was unexpected. But what came of it was a bit refreshing. It breathed back some hope that even though I may not be filled with joy and happiness now, it's not impossible. I'm sort of laying the ground-work now for a happy future.
Ultimately, I'm content with where I am right now. I need to put together a bit more of a long-term plan. A 5 year plan I guess. Maybe a 2 or 3 year plan too. I feel almost silly doing that for myself but I think it's essential to have goals in life. The palm reading was a re-energization that was needed. A spark of hope. So now it's just a matter of continuing to put one foot in front of the next
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Friday, November 16, 2012
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Alaska Dispatch news
Alaska... Science vs religion (fishing restrictions) [click here]
There are 2 sides to every situation, the question is... can we come to a conclusion that will satisfy both?
I understand the significance of religious points of view and wanting to maintain the culture, however, if regulations aren't followed, how long until there won't be any fish to fish? There would be no way to pass down that part of culture except through stories.
Maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way, but I'm almost seeing the tables turned here. White man's regulations are trying to preserve for generations to come where the stubbornness of some threaten to kill off a centuries old way of life. Is it truly about religious/cultural freedoms or is it about sticking it to the man?
There are 2 sides to every situation, the question is... can we come to a conclusion that will satisfy both?
I understand the significance of religious points of view and wanting to maintain the culture, however, if regulations aren't followed, how long until there won't be any fish to fish? There would be no way to pass down that part of culture except through stories.
Maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way, but I'm almost seeing the tables turned here. White man's regulations are trying to preserve for generations to come where the stubbornness of some threaten to kill off a centuries old way of life. Is it truly about religious/cultural freedoms or is it about sticking it to the man?
Monday, November 12, 2012
Baking GF bread
I found a GF (gluten free) sandwich bread that I really enjoy. Especially when I make it cinnamon bread. It's so yummy. The box says its only supposed to take 30-40 min to rise... It lies! I've been letting it rise for over an hour and its probably halfway there. I might get toast before bed or maybe not :(
Little Houses
I've become almost obsessed in the last few days with mini homes. I realized my apartment is in fact very tiny. Including the arctic entry which is essentially a mud room & utility room combined (housing my 2-300gal water tanks and water heater) my entire apartment is just at 500 sq ft. And absolutely no closet space.
I'm convinced that if done appropriately, with built-ins and good organization, I could easily live in a small home. I have been looking for different ways people have done this and hoping that someday I can pull this off. Hopefully someday will be within the next 5 years or so. I am reading lots where people build these homes themselves for $30k-50k. Even with contracting out certain parts of the project.
Someday
I'm convinced that if done appropriately, with built-ins and good organization, I could easily live in a small home. I have been looking for different ways people have done this and hoping that someday I can pull this off. Hopefully someday will be within the next 5 years or so. I am reading lots where people build these homes themselves for $30k-50k. Even with contracting out certain parts of the project.
Someday
no sign of snow... but we've got ice
It's not quite as cold this year (at this time) as it was last year. We have only had a dusting of snow, though we've already had some nasty freezing rain that has left everything a solid sheet. oh- about that... I dislike freezing rain. So here's what happened on Friday...
My car was in 4WD because it had started freezing puddles the night before. My truck (OK- SUV technically) usually does pretty well anyway in that sort of condition but i really didn't want to end up in a ditch. As I'm driving to work, a car in front of me pulls over and lets me pass. I was confused because we were only going about 20 mph and i was in no way on their bumper. There was a good half a block between us. I was stopping just find at stop signs- granted I'm way better at braking sooner in the last couple years than i used to be. Then i pull into the hospital parking lot. I fishtail and correct.
I should probably add in here that I had the good fortune of learning how to drive in an area known for it's snowfall. Upstate NY. My parents wanted to make sure I knew what to do in snow and ice and my dad took me to the high school parking lot once and as a terrified new driver (BTW, he had a habit of scaring the piss out of me when i learned how to drive that year- ask me sometime about learning stick on a hill off of the main drag of Erie BLVD. I STILL hold that against him) told me to gun it across the parking lot. WHAT?!? i reluctantly did, then he yelled "SLAM ON THE BRAKES!" never has my heart beat so far out of my chest before that. That day i learned to purposely fishtail, correct a fishtail and even do donuts. Granted he wanted me to do them around a lamp-post and I dementedly refused.
That year, I learned that i disliked driving minivans and rear-wheel drive vehicles in the snow/ice. I learned to make sure your windshield fluid is rated for the cold temperatures- of it'll freeze on your windshield and let me tell you... that is a mess. I learned to keep a shovel and a winter safety kit in the trunk and much much more.
back to the original story...
I correct my fishtail in the hospital parking lot, and park. Then i go to get out of the car. I was lucky to have found a spot where i could be a full door length away from the car next to me, grabbed my messenger bag and stepped down from my car. That's when it happened. I seriously didn't even have time to think the words "oh shit"- all of the sudden I was flat on my ass and under my car. I tried to get up and failed. I literally had to pull myself out from under the car by the door and the floor to the car (the running board was icky with dirt/mud/ice and who knows what else). my entire right leg, hip and arm were wet. Luckily i was actually wearing and had my coat zipped up so no mud on my shirt. and my jeans were dark enough that if there was it didn't show. I'm pretty sure it was fresh enough ice there wasn't any/much dirt though. I'm also pretty sure that if I hadn't been working out all that much lately that fall woulda hurt a hell of a lot more. But i went down pretty smoothly. no tweeking of knees or anything and literally just slid under the car (thank god for 8" clearance). Once i got to a standing position, i had my next challenge... getting to the front of the hospital. Have you ever tried to stand on a sheet of ice with sneakers? It's practically impossible to walk. You have to use baby steps- still not all that efficient- or just skate. well... it's hard to skate on uneven ground so babysteps it was. luckily the walk-way was covered in dirt so it wasn't so bad but it was interesting. Once i get upstairs i realize i don't have my keys. I had them getting out of the car- but they weren't in my pockets or my hand. i got security to open the door and then my right had woman (who is leaving me for the big-bad world unfortunately) volunteered to go to my car and look. Luckily they had landed in my seat as Igot fell out of my truck. sigh... 3 days later now and i am seriously lucky i'm not covered in 1 huge bruise but needless to say. I slid across the street later in the day to exchange my too-small-never-been-worn ice cleats i purchased last year for ones that will actually fit. Those things aren't leaving my bag for the rest of the winter.
My car was in 4WD because it had started freezing puddles the night before. My truck (OK- SUV technically) usually does pretty well anyway in that sort of condition but i really didn't want to end up in a ditch. As I'm driving to work, a car in front of me pulls over and lets me pass. I was confused because we were only going about 20 mph and i was in no way on their bumper. There was a good half a block between us. I was stopping just find at stop signs- granted I'm way better at braking sooner in the last couple years than i used to be. Then i pull into the hospital parking lot. I fishtail and correct.
I should probably add in here that I had the good fortune of learning how to drive in an area known for it's snowfall. Upstate NY. My parents wanted to make sure I knew what to do in snow and ice and my dad took me to the high school parking lot once and as a terrified new driver (BTW, he had a habit of scaring the piss out of me when i learned how to drive that year- ask me sometime about learning stick on a hill off of the main drag of Erie BLVD. I STILL hold that against him) told me to gun it across the parking lot. WHAT?!? i reluctantly did, then he yelled "SLAM ON THE BRAKES!" never has my heart beat so far out of my chest before that. That day i learned to purposely fishtail, correct a fishtail and even do donuts. Granted he wanted me to do them around a lamp-post and I dementedly refused.
That year, I learned that i disliked driving minivans and rear-wheel drive vehicles in the snow/ice. I learned to make sure your windshield fluid is rated for the cold temperatures- of it'll freeze on your windshield and let me tell you... that is a mess. I learned to keep a shovel and a winter safety kit in the trunk and much much more.
back to the original story...
I correct my fishtail in the hospital parking lot, and park. Then i go to get out of the car. I was lucky to have found a spot where i could be a full door length away from the car next to me, grabbed my messenger bag and stepped down from my car. That's when it happened. I seriously didn't even have time to think the words "oh shit"- all of the sudden I was flat on my ass and under my car. I tried to get up and failed. I literally had to pull myself out from under the car by the door and the floor to the car (the running board was icky with dirt/mud/ice and who knows what else). my entire right leg, hip and arm were wet. Luckily i was actually wearing and had my coat zipped up so no mud on my shirt. and my jeans were dark enough that if there was it didn't show. I'm pretty sure it was fresh enough ice there wasn't any/much dirt though. I'm also pretty sure that if I hadn't been working out all that much lately that fall woulda hurt a hell of a lot more. But i went down pretty smoothly. no tweeking of knees or anything and literally just slid under the car (thank god for 8" clearance). Once i got to a standing position, i had my next challenge... getting to the front of the hospital. Have you ever tried to stand on a sheet of ice with sneakers? It's practically impossible to walk. You have to use baby steps- still not all that efficient- or just skate. well... it's hard to skate on uneven ground so babysteps it was. luckily the walk-way was covered in dirt so it wasn't so bad but it was interesting. Once i get upstairs i realize i don't have my keys. I had them getting out of the car- but they weren't in my pockets or my hand. i got security to open the door and then my right had woman (who is leaving me for the big-bad world unfortunately) volunteered to go to my car and look. Luckily they had landed in my seat as I
 |
| This is what my cleats look like but there are a bunch of different ones out there. |
Friday, November 9, 2012
Current Gas Prices...
I don't complain much anymore. Also- I distinctly remember getting off the plane last year for Christmas to pass a gas station and yelled, "Shit, Gas is half-price! Mom- we should fill up". She looked at me like I had 4 heads and calmly said, "Honey, It just went up 20 cents." ... oops.Yep, and we drill for it here. It costs that much because the pipeline sends the unrefined gas south where it's refined and then barged back up here. We pay for the expense of TRANSPORTATION more than anything. The cost per barrel isn't just the gas itself, it's every other mark-up you see.
I can't wait until we actually have biodiesel and other sustainable energy sources figured out. It frustrates me to no end that the technology has been there for decades but it hasn't been moved forward because of whatever stick whoever has stuck up their rears. Maybe the survivalists have a point. It's be awesome to be completely self sustaining and be able to live off the grid.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Random Thought
Someone would absolutely make bank if they could figure out how to open some sort of Dollar Store/Tree here. People come in from a village and go shopping. Sure it's cheap stuff, but when you're on a tight budget or live in one of the most expensive places in the country that cheap stuff goes far. It'd be hard to keep it stocked but it'd be busy always. huh... if I had a better business head I might actually think about this.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
my very first Kuspak/Quspak
A Kuspak (or Quspak) is a very traditional Alaska native garment. I can be worn in many seasons depending on how it is made. It can be sewn into a parka/coat or can be worn as a lightweight shirt. Traditionally, there are different versions for men vs women- a women's version has a skirt. Many do not still wear it like this though some do. There are many designs from basic to quite detailed and complicated. They can be made for everyday wear or for dress occasions- yes, it's essentially a lightweight hoodie.
I asked one of my go-to Alaska information Guru and my Bethel-Mom to show me how to make my very own and I was blessed that she agreed. It took portions of 3 days for her to supervise me through the entire process. I was "fired" twice and she kicked me out of the drivers seat (seat in front of the sewing machine) and she fixed something I just wasn't doing correctly (completely due to my inexperience behind a sewing machine at all). I'd estimate that I probably completed somewhere between 90-95% of the project by myself with her instructing me and showing me how to start then handing the wheel to me. She was vital in making sure I stayed true to her original design and wouldn't make the entire thing look sloppy. The most difficult parts for a newbie sewer were attaching the cuffs and collar which is mostly what she did for me at the end. The most tedious portion was probably creating the hem/border piece. That is NOT a pre-fabricated hem. That hem/border was made by hand, my hand (i'm a little proud- can you tell?). I've included a few pictures but out of respect for the pattern originator I have not included enough to recreate the entire project.
Not bad for my first Kuspak and my 2nd real sewing project ever. I might get somewhere after-all.
I asked one of my go-to Alaska information Guru and my Bethel-Mom to show me how to make my very own and I was blessed that she agreed. It took portions of 3 days for her to supervise me through the entire process. I was "fired" twice and she kicked me out of the drivers seat (seat in front of the sewing machine) and she fixed something I just wasn't doing correctly (completely due to my inexperience behind a sewing machine at all). I'd estimate that I probably completed somewhere between 90-95% of the project by myself with her instructing me and showing me how to start then handing the wheel to me. She was vital in making sure I stayed true to her original design and wouldn't make the entire thing look sloppy. The most difficult parts for a newbie sewer were attaching the cuffs and collar which is mostly what she did for me at the end. The most tedious portion was probably creating the hem/border piece. That is NOT a pre-fabricated hem. That hem/border was made by hand, my hand (i'm a little proud- can you tell?). I've included a few pictures but out of respect for the pattern originator I have not included enough to recreate the entire project.
 |
| Start of the Hem part of the project |
 |
| Various pieces and hem before putting it all together. |
 |
| Finished project |
 |
| Finished with the Hood |
 |
| Close-up of hem |
Monday, November 5, 2012
A Word on Thanksgiving
I'm not much of Thanksgiving person, especially lately having been emerged in a native culture that has different views on this particular holiday. That being said, I am somewhat caught up in the thought-provoking nature of the season...
I'm Thankful for:
- running water
- health education (hygiene, sex ed and disease transmission)
- healthcare
- easy access to classroom education
- parents that have gone before me and realize & encouraged the value of education
- food in my belly and clothes on my back
- a culture that largely discourages incest and encourages the youth to pursue dreams
- and much much more
Large portions of the state are without running water to bathe, drink or even use the bathroom in. Honeybuckets are still very much in use today in our country- I do not mean outhouses, I mean buckets or in some cases coffee cans that people sit on to do their business. The sometime abysmal knowledge of personal hygiene is saddening. I can't tell you how many times I've had to explain to parents that the reason all 7 of their children now have the same skin infection is that all 7 sleep in the same beds with sheets that have gone 6 months without washing and that you do actually need to clean wounds with soap or other cleaning products- the next line is usually that soap is expensive and washing clothes isn't something they can afford. Or that the reason the antibiotics aren't working is because the child received maybe 2 days out of 10 or 14 prescribed. This is basic health education many do not have. I have seen 16 year old with 2 children- already out of diapers. I've seen one of the highest STD rates in the US- due to lack of sex education or access to birth control. BTW- a portion of those pregnancies are due to rape or incest. I've seen children with disabilities (Autism, physical impairments, FAS, and cognitive issues) seeing a therapist (pick a therapist) once a month- maybe- because the therapist have to fly from village to village to do rounds. And the 1 hospital for the region (the region is the size of the state of Oregon) has only 50 beds with no real trauma team/dept. Sub-regional and village clinics help see more minor cases but you can't go looking for a provider in the phonebook or ask for referrals from friends. You don't get to be picky here- you hope the person seeing you knows what they are doing.
On the flip side, I'm also Thankful for exposure to:
- a much more accepting view of adoption
- tradition actually rooted in STRONG family ties and culture
- a culture that values hard work and working with your hands
- a culture that values and listens to their elders!!!
- A culture that does not value your worth to the community in how many things you have or how much money you make but what you do for and with your neighbors, family and friends
All joking or somewhat scary comments aside- I've been in Rural Alaska for 16 months now and I have seen many things I never really imagined. Just like everywhere else I've lived there is a spectrum of what people have access to in every regard. There are some highly educated and/or driven individuals who use their skills to help progress knowledge yet preserve a culture that has been changing since 'our' (the white man) arrive and subsequent take-over (one might even venture to say hostile take-over). There are those who struggle to gain access to education, opportunities and healthcare but fight for it everyday. And there are those who like living the way the do and want no intervention. There are some (sometimes strong) opinions about the white man and the culture we brought. No one way is right- or wrong. One can only choose what is right for themselves and those close to them. It doesn't make me any less thankful. In fact, I think I can say that it only makes more more thankful for more.
I'm Thankful for:
- running water
- health education (hygiene, sex ed and disease transmission)
- healthcare
- easy access to classroom education
- parents that have gone before me and realize & encouraged the value of education
- food in my belly and clothes on my back
- a culture that largely discourages incest and encourages the youth to pursue dreams
- and much much more
Large portions of the state are without running water to bathe, drink or even use the bathroom in. Honeybuckets are still very much in use today in our country- I do not mean outhouses, I mean buckets or in some cases coffee cans that people sit on to do their business. The sometime abysmal knowledge of personal hygiene is saddening. I can't tell you how many times I've had to explain to parents that the reason all 7 of their children now have the same skin infection is that all 7 sleep in the same beds with sheets that have gone 6 months without washing and that you do actually need to clean wounds with soap or other cleaning products- the next line is usually that soap is expensive and washing clothes isn't something they can afford. Or that the reason the antibiotics aren't working is because the child received maybe 2 days out of 10 or 14 prescribed. This is basic health education many do not have. I have seen 16 year old with 2 children- already out of diapers. I've seen one of the highest STD rates in the US- due to lack of sex education or access to birth control. BTW- a portion of those pregnancies are due to rape or incest. I've seen children with disabilities (Autism, physical impairments, FAS, and cognitive issues) seeing a therapist (pick a therapist) once a month- maybe- because the therapist have to fly from village to village to do rounds. And the 1 hospital for the region (the region is the size of the state of Oregon) has only 50 beds with no real trauma team/dept. Sub-regional and village clinics help see more minor cases but you can't go looking for a provider in the phonebook or ask for referrals from friends. You don't get to be picky here- you hope the person seeing you knows what they are doing.
On the flip side, I'm also Thankful for exposure to:
- a much more accepting view of adoption
- tradition actually rooted in STRONG family ties and culture
- a culture that values hard work and working with your hands
- a culture that values and listens to their elders!!!
- A culture that does not value your worth to the community in how many things you have or how much money you make but what you do for and with your neighbors, family and friends
All joking or somewhat scary comments aside- I've been in Rural Alaska for 16 months now and I have seen many things I never really imagined. Just like everywhere else I've lived there is a spectrum of what people have access to in every regard. There are some highly educated and/or driven individuals who use their skills to help progress knowledge yet preserve a culture that has been changing since 'our' (the white man) arrive and subsequent take-over (one might even venture to say hostile take-over). There are those who struggle to gain access to education, opportunities and healthcare but fight for it everyday. And there are those who like living the way the do and want no intervention. There are some (sometimes strong) opinions about the white man and the culture we brought. No one way is right- or wrong. One can only choose what is right for themselves and those close to them. It doesn't make me any less thankful. In fact, I think I can say that it only makes more more thankful for more.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Broom Ball
I just found out that Bethel has a Broom Ball team... interesting... Broomball (click here for link to wikipedia entry). A thought for the winter.
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